Survival Handbook

Ok, all of you Chilango wannabes. Right now you're either considering visiting Mexico City or you're already stuck here. Anyway, the HTGC Survival Handbook will surely save your life and help you in your quest to be a true Chilango.

Mexico City, without a doubt, is one of the most exciting places in the world. Where else can you get great food and run for your life at the same time? Where else can you find the odd combination of Pre-Columbian, Colonial and Contemporary architecture in a couple of blocks? Where, in the whole wide world, can you find more than 20 million people so eager to meet you? Of course, with differen motivations, as you shall see.

Let's go over some basic definitions.

Chilango: n, indic, adj, iro, pej, zoo= Resident of Mexico City and it's surrounding areas. Used to unusual amounts of air pollution and high altitudes, Chilangos roam their territory jammed in slow moving traffic and multiply by the millions at every census count. Chilangos tend to think of themselves as very, really cool, likable, cosmopolitan and knowledgeable people because they inhabit the largest (or second largest, depending on whom you believe) city in the world. It's a pity the rest of the citizens in the country of Mexico don't share that view and consider them a pest, since they would like to get rid of them if they got the chance.

Gringo: n, indic, adj, pej= American (mostly related to them, but not exclusively). Clueless foreigner. Anybody who looks funny and comes from a foreign non-Spanish speaking country. You, in case you read this and don't laugh.

Now, since this is written in English, that means that you're a Gringo or could easily be mistaken for one. Don't feel bad about it, nobody is perfect. As you will see, being a Gringo even has some advantages.

Chapter #1
Getting Here.

Most Chilango Wannabes come to Mexico City (remember, it is known as Distrito Federal, D.F. or México, only Gringos use "Mexico City") fleeing taxes, the police or a distraught lover back home. Whatever the reason, we don't care.

big, aint it?

A high percentage of future Chilangos come by plane, and are instantly shocked by the sheer size of the city as seen from their comfy seats back in coach. Don't be shocked, you can't even see half of it. The second shock comes right after they leave the plane, since the altitude and pollution are the first ones to greet the hapless tourists. And the third shock comes when they find out their luggage has been stolen or roughed up. Hey, it happens.

But you made it! You're in Mexico City! Alive!

Now comes one of the hardest trials any new arrival in Mex City will ever face: getting to your hotel.

If you have any bags left at the airport, somebody will grab them. It's either a thief or one of those guys who carry your bags, but when you're in the middle of several hundred people hanging out at the International Terminal, it is hard to tell. Whatever the case, don't let him get away!

Then comes the ride to your hotel. Once you step out of the terminal running after your bags you will be met by a dozen or so people peddling their taxi services, and boy, they are a pest. BE WARNED! Very few hotels offer shuttles from the airport, so don't be fooled. The white and yellow airport cabs are trustworthy, but very expensive by Chilango standards and they have fixed fares depending on what part of the city you're going. Something else: never tip a cab driver unless you mean it. We should also mention that airport taxis are the only way to get out of the airport unless somebody is picking you up.

The chaos you will face at the airport is only a taste of what will come later.